( d Freberg who represented more than 10...)Sexual Abuse Payout Re-opens Old Wounds,Health

d Freberg, who represented more than 100 plaintiffs. "It is completely different when you see the face of the victim, overlaid with pictures of them as a child, explaining how they lost their childhood innocence, explaining how they abused drugs their entire lives to try to drown out the memories."

The videos were shown to attorneys for the archdiocese and its insurance carriers. At one point, Freberg said, she heard that Cardinal Roger M. Mahony said he planned to watch them. The videos were also shown to the mediation judges.

Three days after the settlement was announced, many survivors said they still weren't sure of the exact amount they would receive. Lawyers say their clients should get their money by Dec. 1, if not before.

Attorney Freberg predicted that the money would be a boon to some of her clients, but said it was "not a cure-all."

She said a survivor in the Orange County settlement called recently to tell her his life had changed dramatically for the better since he received his settlement. Others, she said, have more complicated feelings.

"They feel 'maybe I was prostituted for this,' " she said. Or they feel as if the church "bought silence."

Ann Hagen Webb, a Boston psychologist who treats survivors of priest sex abuse and is a survivor herself, said the settlement in her city may have some lessons for Los Angeles victims.

"People shouldn't expect that the money will be the closure, the healing that the reporters and the church talk about," she said. "Healing is a very elusive and very private thing, and it doesn't have anything to do with money."


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