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Relationships are Built on Love and Power

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When a discontented partner unilaterally tries to change something, it usually turns out badly "because the subjective impression of who is more powerful can differ", Boeckling said. But she added that renegotiating the distribution of power could be beneficial in the long term. For that, a good conversation was necessary.

But "it can be dangerous if the issue in question takes a back seat to who wins the dispute", Stross noted. He said that resolving disagreements fairly was as essential as tolerance and compromise.

"In a healthy relationship there's a distribution of power agreeable to both partners" and not necessarily parity, Boeckling said. It could be perfectly all right if the role models of both called for the man or the woman to have more power. The important thing, she said, was that the power structure be stable.

The partners need to balance their interests," Krueger added. "There will always be power disputes in a living relationship."

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