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How a man's mind really works

sations a good way to chill out at the end of the day, the tired male brain needs to zone out all that touchy-feely chatter in order to relax -- which is why he wants the remote control to zap through "mindless" sport or action movies.

His brain takes in less sensory detail than a woman's, so he doesn't see or even feel the dust and household mess in the same way. Anyhow, the male brain attaches less personal identity to the inside of a home and more to the workplace or the yard -- which is why he doesn't get worked up about housework.

Male hormones such as testosterone and vasopressin set the male brain up to seek competitive, hierarchical groups in its constant quest to prove self-worth and identity. That is why men, paradoxically (from a hormonally altered new mother's point of view), become even more workaholic once they have kids, to whom they must also prove their worth.

Gurian says his book is aimed mainly at women. "Men get this already. They are living this brain but they don't have the conscious language to explain it. Women are not living it. "If they are relating to a man, I hope they will be touched, informed and entertained and will have a new vision of the way they can make their relationship work.

Gurian says men can learn new skills and alter their behavior but they will not be able to meet all of women's expectations.

"People want to love each other. If we can learn who we might be -- not what IS he thinking, but what COULD he be thinking -- then I am optimistic."
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