Navigation Links
We're emotionally distant and that's just fine by me
Date:2/13/2013

When it comes to having a lasting and fulfilling relationship, common wisdom says that feeling close to your romantic partner is paramount. But a new study finds that it's not how close you feel that matters most, it's whether you are as close as you want to be, even if that's really not close at all.

"Our study found that people who yearn for a more intimate partnership and people who crave more distance are equally at risk for having a problematic relationship," says the study's lead author, David M. Frost, PhD, of Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health. "If you want to experience your relationship as healthy and rewarding, it's important that you find a way to attain your idealized level of closeness with your partner."

Results will be published in the April issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, and will also appear ahead of print online on February 13.

A sample of 732 men and women, living across the U.S. and Canada, completed three yearly surveys online. They answered questions about relationship closeness, relationship satisfaction, commitment, break-up thoughts, and symptoms of depression. Current and ideal closeness were assessed by choosing from six sets of overlapping circles; varying degrees of overlap signified degrees of closeness. This well-established psychological measure of closeness is known as Inclusion of Other in Self and indicates a couple's "we-ness" or shared identity, values, viewpoints, resources, and personality traits.

More than half of respondents (57%) reported feeling too much distance between themselves and their partner; 37% were content with the level of closeness in their relationship; and a small minority (5%) reported feeling too close. The degree of difference between a respondent's actual and idealtheir "closeness discrepancy"correlated with poorer relationship quality and more frequent symptoms of depression. The effect was the same whether the respondent reported feeling "too close for comfort" or "not close enough." Surprisingly, the negative effects of closeness discrepancies were evident regardless of how close people felt to their partners; what mattered was the discrepancy, not the closeness.

Over the two-year study period, some respondents' experiences of closeness became aligned with their ideals. In such cases, their relationship quality and mental health improved. The inverse was also true. Those who increasingly felt "too close" or "not close enough" over time were more likely to grow unhappy in their relationships and ultimately break up with their partners.

Closeness discrepancies could shape new approaches to psychotherapy, both for couples and individuals, because it takes seriously real differences in the amount of closeness people want in their relationships, says Dr. Frost, a psychologist and professor of Population and Family Health at the Mailman School.

"It's best not to make too many assumptions about what constitutes a healthy relationship," he says. "Rather, we need to hear from people about how close they are in their relationships and how that compares to how close they'd ideally like to be."

Ongoing studies are looking at the issue of closeness discrepancies from both sides of a relationship to see how someone's sense of relationship closeness might differ from their partners, whether someone's closeness discrepancy affects their partners, and how it affects their sex life. The concept could also be extended to non-romantic relationships such as co-workers, parent-child, and patient-provider interactions.


'/>"/>
Contact: Timothy S. Paul
tp2111@columbia.edu
212-305-2676
Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health
Source:Eurekalert

Related medicine news :

1. For Hospitals, Lowered Death Rates May Not Mean More Readmissions
2. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Now Urges All US Navy Veterans With Any Type Of Lung Cancer To Call Them About Possible Compensation-Were You Exposed To Asbestos
3. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Now Urges All Lung Cancer Victims To Call Them If They Were Exposed To Asbestos In The Workplace-For Possible Significant Compensation
4. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Now Urges Non Smokers To Call Them If They Now Have Lung Cancer And Were Exposed To Asbestos On The Job-Possible Major Compensation
5. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Urges Families Of Lung Cancer Victims To Ask The Victim If They Were Exposed To Asbesto On the Job And To Call Them If They Say-Yes
6. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Urges All Lung Cancer Victims With A Out Of The Blue Diagnosis To Consider Asbestos Exposure And to Call Them If They Were Exposed
7. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center's National Initiative Is Focused On Financial Compensation For Lung Cancer Victims Who Were exposed To Asbestos In Their Workplace
8. US Drug Watchdog Now Urges Family Members Of Diabetics Who Used the Diabetes Drug Actos and Then Were Diagnosed with Bladder Cancer to Call The Johnson Law Group ASAP
9. At least 1 in 5 were infected in flu pandemic, international study suggests
10. Leading Melbourne Dentist Launches 100% Renewable Energy Powered Procedures for Cosmetic Dentistry, Implants and Dental Services
11. US Drug Watchdog Now Urges Women Who Had A Out Of The Blue Heart Attack Or Stroke Who Were Also Using Yaz or Yasmin Birth Control Pills To Call The Johnson Law Group ASAP
Post Your Comments:
*Name:
*Comment:
*Email:
(Date:12/2/2016)... ... December 02, 2016 , ... The annual time frame to change ... Election Period), is ending December 7th. Currently-enrolled Medicare beneficiaries who are looking to switch ... plan (Part D) need to make changes during this period order for their new ...
(Date:12/2/2016)... NY (PRWEB) , ... December 02, 2016 , ... More ... school and while 84 percent of parents report speaking with their child about sex ... and sexually transmitted diseases. , Mediaplanet is proud to announce the launch of its ...
(Date:12/2/2016)... ... December 02, 2016 , ... Sourced from the Isbre Springs beneath the ... its unmatched natural purity of just 6 ppm TDS (Total Dissolved Solids) in addition ... has been available in several ShopRite and FoodTown stores in NJ and received rave ...
(Date:12/2/2016)... ... December 02, 2016 , ... On November 24th, ... families from eight different sites throughout Miami-Dade and Broward counties. This is the ... very hard on Thanksgiving morning by putting together individual meals via assembly lines ...
(Date:11/30/2016)... ... November 30, 2016 , ... Northridge dentists, Dr. ... plan for all patients. Understanding that budget can play a part in oral ... of perks, including discounts on many valuable dental treatments. Options for individuals, couples, ...
Breaking Medicine News(10 mins):
(Date:12/2/2016)... NEW YORK , December 2, 2016 ... Extremity Braces & Support) is Expected to Gain a Significant ... Prone to Orthopedic Ailments  ... , , According ... Market Study on Medical Implants Sterile Packaging: Clamshell Product Type ...
(Date:12/2/2016)... 2016   CytoSorbents Corporation (NASDAQ: CTSO ... Union approved CytoSorb ® cytokine adsorber to treat ... announced that Dr. Phillip Chan , Chief Executive ... Micro Main Event investor conference held from December ... Sunset Boulevard Hotel in Los Angeles, California ...
(Date:12/2/2016)... , December 2, 2016 On Thursday, ... 1.36%; the Dow Jones Industrial Average edged 0.36% higher, to ... down 0.35%. Losses were broad based as six out of ... initiated research reports on the following Services equities: Myriad Genetics ... QGEN ), INC Research Holdings Inc. (NASDAQ: ...
Breaking Medicine Technology: