Navigation Links
We're emotionally distant and that's just fine by me
Date:2/13/2013

When it comes to having a lasting and fulfilling relationship, common wisdom says that feeling close to your romantic partner is paramount. But a new study finds that it's not how close you feel that matters most, it's whether you are as close as you want to be, even if that's really not close at all.

"Our study found that people who yearn for a more intimate partnership and people who crave more distance are equally at risk for having a problematic relationship," says the study's lead author, David M. Frost, PhD, of Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health. "If you want to experience your relationship as healthy and rewarding, it's important that you find a way to attain your idealized level of closeness with your partner."

Results will be published in the April issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, and will also appear ahead of print online on February 13.

A sample of 732 men and women, living across the U.S. and Canada, completed three yearly surveys online. They answered questions about relationship closeness, relationship satisfaction, commitment, break-up thoughts, and symptoms of depression. Current and ideal closeness were assessed by choosing from six sets of overlapping circles; varying degrees of overlap signified degrees of closeness. This well-established psychological measure of closeness is known as Inclusion of Other in Self and indicates a couple's "we-ness" or shared identity, values, viewpoints, resources, and personality traits.

More than half of respondents (57%) reported feeling too much distance between themselves and their partner; 37% were content with the level of closeness in their relationship; and a small minority (5%) reported feeling too close. The degree of difference between a respondent's actual and idealtheir "closeness discrepancy"correlated with poorer relationship quality and more frequent symptoms of depression. The effect was the same whether the respondent reported feeling "too close for comfort" or "not close enough." Surprisingly, the negative effects of closeness discrepancies were evident regardless of how close people felt to their partners; what mattered was the discrepancy, not the closeness.

Over the two-year study period, some respondents' experiences of closeness became aligned with their ideals. In such cases, their relationship quality and mental health improved. The inverse was also true. Those who increasingly felt "too close" or "not close enough" over time were more likely to grow unhappy in their relationships and ultimately break up with their partners.

Closeness discrepancies could shape new approaches to psychotherapy, both for couples and individuals, because it takes seriously real differences in the amount of closeness people want in their relationships, says Dr. Frost, a psychologist and professor of Population and Family Health at the Mailman School.

"It's best not to make too many assumptions about what constitutes a healthy relationship," he says. "Rather, we need to hear from people about how close they are in their relationships and how that compares to how close they'd ideally like to be."

Ongoing studies are looking at the issue of closeness discrepancies from both sides of a relationship to see how someone's sense of relationship closeness might differ from their partners, whether someone's closeness discrepancy affects their partners, and how it affects their sex life. The concept could also be extended to non-romantic relationships such as co-workers, parent-child, and patient-provider interactions.


'/>"/>
Contact: Timothy S. Paul
tp2111@columbia.edu
212-305-2676
Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health
Source:Eurekalert

Related medicine news :

1. For Hospitals, Lowered Death Rates May Not Mean More Readmissions
2. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Now Urges All US Navy Veterans With Any Type Of Lung Cancer To Call Them About Possible Compensation-Were You Exposed To Asbestos
3. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Now Urges All Lung Cancer Victims To Call Them If They Were Exposed To Asbestos In The Workplace-For Possible Significant Compensation
4. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Now Urges Non Smokers To Call Them If They Now Have Lung Cancer And Were Exposed To Asbestos On The Job-Possible Major Compensation
5. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Urges Families Of Lung Cancer Victims To Ask The Victim If They Were Exposed To Asbesto On the Job And To Call Them If They Say-Yes
6. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center Urges All Lung Cancer Victims With A Out Of The Blue Diagnosis To Consider Asbestos Exposure And to Call Them If They Were Exposed
7. Lung Cancer Asbestos Victims Center's National Initiative Is Focused On Financial Compensation For Lung Cancer Victims Who Were exposed To Asbestos In Their Workplace
8. US Drug Watchdog Now Urges Family Members Of Diabetics Who Used the Diabetes Drug Actos and Then Were Diagnosed with Bladder Cancer to Call The Johnson Law Group ASAP
9. At least 1 in 5 were infected in flu pandemic, international study suggests
10. Leading Melbourne Dentist Launches 100% Renewable Energy Powered Procedures for Cosmetic Dentistry, Implants and Dental Services
11. US Drug Watchdog Now Urges Women Who Had A Out Of The Blue Heart Attack Or Stroke Who Were Also Using Yaz or Yasmin Birth Control Pills To Call The Johnson Law Group ASAP
Post Your Comments:
*Name:
*Comment:
*Email:
(Date:4/30/2016)... (PRWEB) , ... April 30, 2016 , ... ... Dr. Carol Francis Talk Radio with Hypnotherapist, Mary O'Maley. What is hypnosis ... with habit control (substances, smoking, weight control), pain relief (chronic and acute), birthing ...
(Date:4/30/2016)... ... April 30, 2016 , ... ... News on April 4th, 2016 questioned the use of the HyProCure sinus ... as “a controversial procedure.” EOTTS-HyProCure is a minimally invasive procedure performed, when ...
(Date:4/29/2016)... ... 2016 , ... Mercy College is expanding its Graduate Business Programs to the ... due to high demand: Master of Business Administration (MBA), Master of Organizational Leadership (MSOL) ... , School of Business Graduate Program Chair Dr. Ray Manganelli said: “We believe that ...
(Date:4/29/2016)... ... April 29, 2016 , ... Shamangelic ... the addition Onnit brand Alpha BRAIN and New Mood Daily-Stress Formula for brain ... mood optimization products to the store is just one more way Shamangelic Healing ...
(Date:4/29/2016)... CA (PRWEB) , ... April 29, 2016 , ... ... advocating optimistic healthcare awareness and author of best seller "LOVE, MEDICINE and MIRACLES") ... Radio Monday, May 2, 2016 and podcasted thereafter . Dr. Bernie Siegel, ...
Breaking Medicine News(10 mins):
(Date:4/27/2016)... , Schweiz, April 27, 2016 ... Sachs CEO Forums in Zürich gab Strekin ... führenden Wirkstoffkandidaten STR001 zur Erhaltung des Resthörvermögens ... wurde, bekannt. Für die umfassende Phase-II-Doppelblindstudie mit ... Frankreich angeworben. STR001 wird während der Operation ...
(Date:4/27/2016)... 27, 2016   Zillion Group today ... technology platform, which specializes in live video consultation. ... digital products, Zillion enables companies to realize the ... to take control of their health. ... – including one-to-one, group and webcast scheduled or ...
(Date:4/27/2016)... NEW YORK , April 27, 2016 /PRNewswire/ ... OASM ), a developer of a new ... today announced positive overall survival results for Paclical/Apealea ... total of 789 patients with epithelial ovarian cancer. ... treatment groups: Paclical/Apealea in combination with carboplatin versus ...
Breaking Medicine Technology: