Navigation Links
Think You Have a Perfect Partner? That's a Good Sign
Date:3/12/2011

By Kathleen Doheny
HealthDay Reporter

FRIDAY, March 11 (HealthDay News) -- Forget that warning about rose-colored glasses setting you up for disappointment in romantic relationships.

Those who are unrealistically idealistic about their partners are more satisfied with their marriage than the realists, new research contends.

The idealization seems to thwart the commonly found decline in satisfaction that strikes marriages over time, said study author Dr. Sandra Murray, a professor of psychology at the University at Buffalo, the State University of New York.

"If you didn't consider idealization at all, in this sample, as in many others, satisfaction declined on average" over the course of the three-year study, she said.

"But if you looked at the people relatively high versus low on idealization, people who are relatively high don't show any decline," she said.

What's going on? The positive outlook -- giving your partner more credit than what might be due, and seeing your partner as a closer reflection of your ideal partner than what might be true -- could help when things turn thorny, Murray said.

All that positive thinking, she added, perhaps "colors the way they perceive their partner's behavior. It [perhaps] gives them a stronger sense of optimism that they can resolve problems within the relationship."

For the study, reported in the April issue of Psychological Science, Murray recruited 222 couples as they applied for their marriage licenses in Buffalo, N.Y. They were, on average, about 27 years old, with family incomes of about $40,000 to $70,000 a year.

After some dropped out, 193 couples finished at least three of the seven waves of evaluation, she said. (Eleven separated or divorced.) Participants completed surveys about themselves, their partners and their marriages every six months for three years.

By comparing the information given on each person by themselves and their partners, the researchers developed a ranking of how idealistic and how realistic each person's perception was.

Those who were unrealistically idealistic actually were happier with their marriage than the others over the three years.

She can't say for how long that positive idealization might fuel satisfaction, because of the study's length.

But she concluded, "seeing a less-than-ideal partner as a reflection of one's ideals predicted a certain level of immunity to the corrosive effects of time: People who initially idealized their partner highly experienced no declines in satisfaction."

"It's an important idea," said Eli Finkel, an associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University in Evanston, Ill., who conducts relationship research.

The finding, he said, "does fly in the face of conventional wisdom," which warns people not to be too "blind" in love.

But the findings make sense, he said. "To the degree that I have this high evaluation of my partner, I interpret my partner's behavior as kind, funny and considerate," he said. The evaluation by these people may be "a little more positive" than the partner deserves, he noted.

The positive view, he said, may make day-to-day hurdles more bearable. "If you start from a place of positivity, you really see your partner as exactly the person you hoped you would be involved with, then all the little daily circumstances you face get interpreted through that lens," he said. Read: less disagreement, more satisfaction.

Or, as Finkel put it: "To the degree you think this is Prince Charming, it looks like there is no comeuppance for that."

More information

To learn more about positive psychology, visit the University of Pennsylvania.

SOURCES: Eli Finkel, Ph.D., associate professor, social psychology, Northwestern University, Evanston, Ill.; Sandra Murray, Ph.D., professor, psychology, University at Buffalo, State University of New York; April 2011 Psychological Science


'/>"/>
Copyright©2010 ScoutNews,LLC.
All rights reserved  

Related medicine news :

1. For alcoholics, new help in abstaining -- without thinking about it
2. Warm Weather May Cloud Thinking in MS Patients
3. Overweight Kids Who Exercise Improve Thinking, Math Skills: Study
4. Exercise helps overweight children think better, do better in math
5. Think manager, think male? Impact of gender in sport administration hiring
6. Training the brain to think ahead in addiction
7. 1 in 4 Overweight Women Think Theyre Normal Size: Study
8. As Clocks Fall Back on Sunday, Think About Better Sleep
9. Study Finds Teens Think Sports Drinks Are Healthy
10. Fuzzy thinking could spot heart disease risk
11. Brain study shows that thinking about God reduces distress -- but only for believers
Post Your Comments:
*Name:
*Comment:
*Email:
Related Image:
Think You Have a Perfect Partner? That's a Good Sign
(Date:12/6/2016)... ... December 06, 2016 , ... The OSHA Training Center ... Education Center headquartered in Northern California, has announced the addition of a Public ... health training to public sector employees. , “The primary goal of the Public ...
(Date:12/5/2016)... Angeles (PRWEB) , ... December 05, 2016 , ... What: ... feed of the North Pole to our patients – using a video monitor and ... video. The hospital will transform the Auditorium into a Christmas Wonderland, which is where ...
(Date:12/5/2016)... ... December 05, 2016 , ... The Avamere Family of ... Avamere Transitional Care of Puget Sound ; located at 630 S Pearl ... will provide patients recovering from illness or injury with intensive skilled nursing and ...
(Date:12/5/2016)... ... December 05, 2016 , ... ... relationship-marketing firm, announced today that nominations will be accepted from December 5, ... Central Awards. , Awards include the Information Security Executive® of the Year, ...
(Date:12/5/2016)... ... December 05, 2016 , ... “Epilepsy Awareness,” which can ... 6th, sparks a conversation about epilepsy, bearing down on the social stigma and ... be diagnosed with epilepsy within their lifetime. With such a large percentage of ...
Breaking Medicine News(10 mins):
(Date:12/5/2016)... , Dec. 5, 2016  Breckenridge Pharmaceutical, Inc. ... multi-product marketing agreement with development and manufacturing partner ... Under the terms of this agreement, Breckenridge will ... in the United States . ... tentatively-approved ANDA. The products cover a wide range ...
(Date:12/5/2016)... and PUNE, India , December ... report by Allied Market Research, titled, "Global Cancer Biomarkers Market ... revenue of cancer biomarkers market is projected to reach $15,737 ... CAGR of 13.3% from 2016 to 2022. Omic technologies segment ... 2015 and is expected to maintain its dominance during the ...
(Date:12/5/2016)... FRANCISCO , Dec. 5, 2016  Recently ... a methylation age predictor, known as Horvath,s Clock. ... offering a sample analysis service to academic and ... of any human sample, other than sperm. The ... to accurately estimate biological age versus chronological age ...
Breaking Medicine Technology: