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The Scarlet I: Infertility survivors lend voices to U of I prof's new book
Date:4/8/2010

pose to the view of co-workers, supervisors, and their parents who long to experience the joys of being grandparents?" she said.

"I make the case that a couple should thoughtfully and selectively share information because the fallout from infertility is too heavy a burden for a couple to carry alone forever. They may be tightly locked in support of one another but still have very different ways of looking at the issue.

"It's not unheard of for the infertile partner to offer to let the fertile partner out of the marriage so that person can have children with someone else," she said.

For many couples, infertility treatment ends successfully, but the experience is never forgotten, she said.

Other persons and couples will find resolution in adoption, surrogacy, or the choice to live without children. But, before that happens, they will need to complete the anticipatory mourning they have probably been doing for some time, she said.

"It's a lifetime loss," she noted. "In our culture, people meeting a new couple for the first time are likely to begin a conversation with 'Do you have any children?'"

Shapiro said that the inability to give birth to a child will always be a piece of a person's identity, but she urged infertility survivors not to let their infertility define or consume them. Hobbies, caring relationships, work, volunteer activities, and travel can add balance as individuals and couples seek new ways to find meaning and purpose in their lives.


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Contact: News writer: Phyllis Picklesimer
p-pickle@illinois.edu
217-244-2827
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Source:Eurekalert

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