Navigation Links
Parenting after the death of a child a difficult balancing act: York U study
Date:2/16/2011

TORONTO, February 16, 2011 − One of the tough challenges a parent faces when a child dies is to learn how to parent the surviving children, and the task begins immediately, according to York University psychology professor Stephen Fleming.

From the moment their child dies, parents are faced with the two extremes of loss and life the suffocating loss of a child and the ongoing, daily demands from their surviving children, says Fleming, co-author of the recently-published book, Parenting After the Death of a Child: A Practitioner's Guide.

"The challenge that parents face is this: In the midst of grief, how do you stop parenting the deceased child while you are simultaneously struggling to meet the parenting needs of the children who remain?"

Fleming, a psychology professor in the Faculty of Health at York University, and co-author Jennifer Buckle, now a professor at Memorial University, did the research for the book when Buckle was a graduate student at York. Their research is based on in-depth interviews with parents who had lost a child and had one or more surviving children.

They found bereaved parents do not "recover" from the loss. Instead, bereaved parenting is an act of regeneration picking up the pieces in the face of the devastation, and regenerating both a sense of self, and a sense of the family.

"Dads tend to be instrumental grievers. They go back to work, commit to working for the family, and they tend to overcome the fear of putting their children out into an unsafe world, sooner than moms do," says Fleming. "Moms tend to be more intuitive grievers, more focused on internal feelings, and they have an almost paralyzing fear that if one child can die, another could die as well. So, often, moms are dragged back into parenting, by the surviving children."

Parenting After the Death of a Child fills a gap in the research about the impact of a child's death, because it focuses not only the grief experienced, but on the balancing act of grieving and parenting at the same time. A clinical psychologist, Fleming said he hopes the guide will educate counsellors about the importance of looking for psychological complications in mourning the loss of a child − for example, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and posttraumatic stress disorder. Too often, parents are not assessed for these reactions, and they may be traumatized by images of their child's death, or illness, and reliving it, he says.

The qualitative research and excerpts from the parents who were interviewed are also intended to help bereaved parents deal with the expectations they put on themselves, and those imposed by the outside world. The research reassures parents, for example, that it is healthy to honour the role of the deceased child in the family by continuing to talk about the child with the surviving siblings. It may also offer comfort by busting myths for example, the myth that losing a child increases the likelihood that parents will divorce, and that surviving family members will be split up. Roles change, and parents often struggle to be consistently present physically and emotionally for their children, Fleming says, but bereaved parents rebuild their lives because their children need it.


'/>"/>

Contact: Janice Walls
wallsj@yorku.ca
416-736-2100 x22101
York University
Source:Eurekalert

Related medicine news :

1. Tips for Parenting ADHD Kids
2. Good Parenting Triumphs Over Prenatal Stress
3. Teens and alcohol study: After a few drinks, parenting style kicks in
4. Solar Eclipz's Portable Umbrella And Canopy Curtain, Called The ezShade, Wins Coveted Outstanding Product Award From Disney Owned iParenting Media Awards
5. Abusive mothers improve parenting after in-home training, emotional support of therapists
6. One Month after Major Quake, Ongoing Crises for Haitian Children
7. Ex-President Clinton Said To Be Fine After Heart Procedure
8. Bill Clinton Back Home After Heart Procedure
9. After a Stroke, High Risk for a Recurrence
10. Women Need More Help After Heart Attack
11. Afternoon Nap Might Make You Smarter
Post Your Comments:
*Name:
*Comment:
*Email:
(Date:6/26/2016)... ... 2016 , ... PawPaws brand pet supplements owned by Whole Health ... the health of felines. The formula is all-natural and is made from Chinese herbs ... Cat Kidney Support Supplement Soft Chews are Astragalus Root Extract and Rehmannia ...
(Date:6/25/2016)... ... ... The temporary closing of Bruton Memorial Library on June 21 due to a possible lice ... overlooked aspect of head lice: the parasite’s ability to live away from a human host, ... a necessary one in the event that lice have simply gotten out of control. , ...
(Date:6/25/2016)... ... June 25, 2016 , ... On Friday, June 10, Van Mitchell, Secretary of ... award to iHire in recognition of their exemplary accomplishments in worksite health promotion. , ... Workplace Health & Wellness Symposium at the BWI Marriott in Linthicum Heights. iHire was ...
(Date:6/24/2016)... PASADENA, CA (PRWEB) , ... June 24, 2016 , ... Marcy was in a crisis. ... he would lash out at his family verbally and physically. , “When something upset him, ... table, he would use it. He would throw rocks at my other children and say ...
(Date:6/24/2016)... ... ... of Topricin and MyPainAway Pain Relief Products, join The ‘Business for a Fair Minimum Wage’ ... 2020 and then adjusting it yearly to increase at the same rate as the median ... floor does not erode again, and make future increases more predictable. , The company is ...
Breaking Medicine News(10 mins):
(Date:6/23/2016)...  In a startling report released today, National Safety Council ... a comprehensive, proven plan to eliminate prescription opioid overdoses. ... states are tackling the worst drug crisis in recorded U.S. history, ... Kentucky , New Mexico , ... the 28 failing states, three – Michigan , ...
(Date:6/23/2016)... , June 23, 2016 Research and ... News Issue 52" report to their offering. ... influenza treatment creates a favourable commercial environment for MedImmune to ... patient base that will serve to drive considerable growth for ... would serve to cap sales considerably, but development is still ...
(Date:6/23/2016)... and BOGOTA, Colombia , June 23, 2016  Astellas today announced the establishment of ... Farma Brasil as the company,s second affiliate in Latin America . ... ... Manager of Astellas Farma Colombia ... ...
Breaking Medicine Technology: