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New Year’s Resolutions For A Better Sex Life

Los Angeles, CA (PRWEB) January 02, 2014

With each dawn of a New Year, resolutions are made with earnest intentions, but only about 8 percent of them succeed – including those having to do with sex. It doesn’t have to be this way, at least when it comes to improving life between the sheets. The strategy? Keep it simple, said Dr. Kat (

Dr. Kat recommends pursuing a pair of straightforward goals, neither of which demands a mountain of effort.

  •     Figure out where to push the boundaries.
  •     Do something different.

Boundaries: “Don’t make the mistake of going overboard too quickly,” says Dr. Kat. “For instance, if both of you know you want to keep things monogamous, I wouldn’t suggest bringing a third party into bed.” The key is talking about desires openly and then making decisions based on the conversations.

“People tend to find a lot more negotiable in their sex lives than they realized when they start to talk about it with their partners honestly,” says Dr. Kat.

Her suggestion: Plan a special night together and bring up the issue over a romantic dinner. Talk about what you respond to sexually. If you find it difficult to come up with good ideas, watch some erotic videos with varying themes and see what your body (and your mind) responds to. This can be a great way for couples to find things that turn them both on.

Do something different: Exploring turn-ons probably led to talk about a variety of intimate activities that never made it from the imagination to the bedroom. It’s time to bring at least some of them to life. Determine which erotic pursuits seem the most interesting, and go for it. Do understand that while fantasies don’t always mesh perfectly, helping each other explore different sexual desires is often mutually beneficial – you engage with something you hadn’t considered before, and one of your own fantasies finally finds a home in the bedroom. Or the kitchen. Maybe the back of the minivan?

So whether it’s buying new sex toys, heading to a swingers club, doing it in a mountain meadow, or just resolving to have regular sex dates, the point is make it fresh. And keep on trying, remembering that some things may stick and others vanish quickly. Either way, you are playing around with sex in your relationship. There is a good chance all of that erotic revelry will lead to a strengthened relationship.

About Dr. Kat: Dr. Kat Van Kirk received her doctorate in Human Sexuality/Clinical Sexology from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. She runs the website: and is the resident expert for Adam and Eve ( She also is an associate professor at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco and an adjunct professor at Akamai University in Hilo, Hawaii.

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