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Mother Talks of the Anger, Confusion and Grief of a SIDS Death
Date:12/8/2010

the kids to the hospital.

Her husband intercepted her as she was running toward the emergency room door. He held her in a tight embrace and said six words: "Honey, our son didn't make it."

"It was like time stood still," Glover recalled. "I heard what he said, but the words didn't compute. I stood there staring at him for about 10 seconds. When the meaning of the words sank in, I screamed so loudly. There are days, 10 years after my son's death, where I think I'm still screaming."

Back then, however, an overwhelming sense of befuddlement took hold.

"You're baffled. You're angry. You're second-guessing what they tell you," she said. "It doesn't seem normal, it doesn't seem natural that a perfectly healthy baby can die for no reason at all. I was blaming myself. Was it something in the formula I gave him the night before? Was it his shots?"

Within hours, Glover and her husband were in the office of a medical examiner, who pulled out books and guided the couple to passages that provided information about SIDS.

"In a way, it was a comfort," Glover said. "A person's natural instinct is to blame themselves. Babies just shouldn't die like this. In a way, it was a relief, and it was somewhat an answer to a question. It took a big piece of the guilt out of the picture."

The Glovers now have three children. Another girl, Gabrielle, was born 17 months after Garrett's death.

Still, there's a Garrett-shaped hole in their family, Glover said, especially when they look at Gordon and wonder how much alike or how different Garrett might have been. "It's a constant reminder, but it's a reminder in a good way," she said.

Glover is a stay-at-home mom who also works as a health educator. She tries to let families of children who die from SIDS know that, even though it doesn't feel like it, there is life after the loss of a child.

"The one thing that made us most disheartened and uncomfortable was the thought that acute grief
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