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How to Not Dislike Your Mother
Date:5/12/2013

aybe they never care."

"Parents are not always right and they may not always love the child." Chen said, "Parents may feel obliged to provide for the child and the child will return the obligation when he or she gets older. But this action still does not mean there is love involved from both sides."

Chen said trying to force the relationship will turn the relationship into misery for both sides.

Indeed. Emilie C was a divorced mother whose only daughter has ended up in the custody of her ex-husband. Feeling that she has lost everything, she desperately wanted her daughter to feel close to her -- to the point that her daughter start hating her and cursing at her. After counseled by Chen, Emilie discovered some hard truths.

"I actually do not love my daughter. I have just wanted to prove that I have control over her." Emilie confessed.

The road back up from the bottom was a hard long road for Emilie. Chen counseled her for about 8 years and not only she has found her confidence in a new marriage but for the first time, she has also learned how to love her child - by letting her daughter to be herself.

So if one has an unchanging parent whose behavior is constantly creating rifts in the relationship, what could a child do?

Chen smiled, "Honesty plays a big part. Be yourself is another part. If you could just be yourself and simply communicate any feelings you have honestly, without drama and without wanting to fight your parents at every turn, you might be surprised to find that they actually would change or even if they do not change, you have at least expressed your stand honestly without sweeping it under the carpet."

But what about the heated arguments and make-wrongs that could ensue?

Chen said, "If people have bottled up their feelings too long, those outbursts are natural and they are temporary. But look, would you want another person who
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