Many couples agree not to have children after only one discussion, and sometimes none at all, the British Sociological Association's annual conference in Leeds heard today. [Friday 25 April 2014]
Edina Kurdi, of Middlesex University, said that 40% of the childless women she surveyed for a study had either not talked about having children, or had only discussed this once early in their relationship.
Miss Kurdi carried out an online survey which included responses from 75 UK women aged 35 and above who were childless. She interviewed nine of them face-to-face.
The survey asked about discussions the woman had had with her current partner about not having children. She found that 23 of the 63 who responded to the question had decided not to have children after one conversation. Three others mentioned they had not talked about the issue at all.
One woman said: "Negotiation? It only needed one brief discussion, along the lines of 'I don't want kids do you?' 'Nope, me neither'. Then move onto something more interesting to talk about... and neither of us reconsidered our options. There was no need to."
Another said: "it never really got said, it was just realised by our actions we had a two-seater car!"
Other quotes, all from different women:
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- "We didn't discuss whether or not to have children, we were both child-free when we met."
- "In both relationships the issue of whether to have children or not was not a point of major discussion."
- "To be honest, it was never a serious discussion. I never reached that stage when I thought I must have this conversation."
- "There is no discussion, I don't want kids and I would never bother to pursue a romantic relationship with someone who did, it would be a pointless endeavour."
- "We didn't discuss really, just mutually agreed. There was no issue to discuss."
- "We were prompted to dis
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