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Connective Parenting Announces the Do's and Don’ts of Power Struggles: What Parents Need to Know to Regain Peace
Date:3/12/2013

Peterborough, NH (PRWEB) March 12, 2013

A parenting power struggle is a fight to the finish when the parent and child are both out to win, says Bonnie Harris director of Connective Parenting. Most parents believe they are right because, after all, they’re the parent. If the parent wins, the child must lose.

Fear is what fuels the parent’s need to win, says Harris. And fear feeds the ego. When fear takes over, parents make mistakes they regret. A child becomes defiant and the parent sees unending disobedience and incompetent parenting. It becomes about the future instead of the behavior. The parent takes the defiance personally and reacts emotionally.

However, in the moment of the defiance, the parent does have a choice even though he may feel trapped and out of control. He can react or not. There is no power struggle when the parent chooses not to engage. The parent must let go of ego if non-engagement is the choice.

Letting go of ego means a shift in perception of the behavior. Instead of seeing the child as being a problem, it requires seeing that she is having a problem, claims Connective Parenting. With that shift, emotions switch automatically from anger to compassion. In that space, the parent no longer feels the need to fight.

Here are some tips to keep in mind:

The Don’ts:

  •     Don’t try to reason with an upset child. Rational thought is impossible when the child’s system is stressed.
  •     Don’t resist to resistance.
  •     Don’t punish, threaten, or coerce.
  •     Don’t give
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