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Caring for Aging Loved Ones Can Be a Catch-22
Date:10/27/2008

in-home caregivers via the network of health care helpers known as the "gray market," and Felker's last months were spent at home, relatively serene. He died in July at age 82.

Sheehy called her 15-year journey with Felker through the U.S. health care system a "nightmare," and she wonders how less affluent and well-connected Americans are faring.

"I'm a journalist, I have a lot of contacts, I've worked all my life and done reasonably well. My husband was successful," she said. "But we had a hell of a time trying to maintain some quality of life."

The phenomenon of middle-class, middle-aged Americans stretched to their emotional and financial limits caring for sick spouses or parents is one that's already widespread and likely to get worse, experts say.

Some statistics:

  • U.S. Census figures project that the number of Americans 65 or over will double by 2030, and that two-thirds of today's 65-year-olds will require some period of long-term care later in their lives.
  • At the same time, according to one recent study, the number of geriatricians has actually declined in recent years, to about 7,750: that translates to one for every 4,254 older Americans. In addition, it's projected that the country will face a shortage of more than 800,000 nurses by 2020.
  • According to U.S. government surveys, in 2004, there were 2.5 million Americans living in either nursing homes or assisted living facilities. The average cost of a private room in a nursing home, according to a recent MetLife study: $75,000 per year.
  • The AARP notes that two-thirds of older Americans who needed long-term care now rely completely on unpaid help -- in most cases, family.

The trouble is, "caregivers just feel utterly unprepared for their role," said Carol Raphael, president of the Visiting Nurse Service of New York, who joined Sheehy and other experts at the briefing on eldercare. Many of the family
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