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While some parents are mean-spirited and driven for revenge, others do a good job of putting their children first. Ganong says even the parents who try hard to do their best slip sometimes; he likens it to a person on a diet grabbing a candy bar once in a while. Above all, it is important for both parents to be a part of their childrens lives.

It is extremely important for the other parent to have visitations, Ganong said. Safety is the priority especially if domestic violence or substance abuse is a problem. However, there are ways to have supervised visits even with parents who might be alcoholics. If a child never sees one parent, there is a tendency for the child to either idealize the parents they dont see or have a distorted view of that parent because all they hear is negative, and neither situation is good for kids.

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