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"I wish I didn't work so hard" -- One of the Top Regrets of the Dying

Los Angeles CA (PRWEB) May 26, 2013

During Donate Life month, we were once again reminded of the value of life and how becoming a registered organ donor could help another person extend his life - a single life saved which in turn affects the lives of his immediate family and his continued contribution to more lives in society.

Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who has spent time with patients during their last several weeks of life, wrote an article last year at Huffington Post called "the top 5 regrets of the dying" based on the conversations she had with her patients.

After compiling the answers, Ware said that among the most common regrets expressed by the patients were:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
3. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
4. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

She also wrote about one regret: I wish I didn't work so hard.

This sentiment came from mostly male patients that she has nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most women she has nursed were from a generation where they had not been breadwinners, there were less who mentioned it.

She wrote, "All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

Family and relationship expert Hellen Chen, agreed, "The deepest regret that I have heard has been men and women missing out on the most important part of life: the quality of their relationship in a marriage and/or with their children. "

Chen, an unorthodox matchmaker - who is also called "The Matchmaker of the Century" -- earned her title by working with men and women who have been resistive to step into marriage and then finally convincing them, overcoming their hopelessness and disappointments of the past, to say "I do."

Having match-made for more than 100 singles and reaching hundreds of thousands more with her lectures and international interviews, Chen hears of this regret firsthand right around when the men or women are nearing the end of a healthy child-bearing age.

"People come to me when they are forty-some years old and said, 'I would love to settle down in marriage and have children.' You could only hear the regrets in their voice." said Chen.

"There are so many successful career professionals who came to me, from doctors to execs to CEOs. They have everything in their life: money, house, stable career, talent etc. But all these accomplishments could not replace the void of a close companion to share their success with." Chen added.

Wanting to share her experience with the public at large and reminding people not to be so caught up in their pursuit of personal goals that they missed out on relationships, Chen documented the stories of the different couples she has helped in her book "The Matchmaker of the Century" which later became a bestseller on Barnes and Noble.

"When I met my husband, both he and I had nothing. At one point, we were so poor, all I could afford to put on the dinner table for him was plain noodles. Every day, to make the noodle taste different, I would try different sauces. He came home and loved the 'surprise dish' that I prepared.

We would do little things like that for each other to cheer ourselves up. Now that we have more to our name, we are also carrying more responsibilities in our own work, we strive to never forget to write each other every day even though we are frequently traveling on different sides of the planet." Chen shared.

To inspire singles, divorcees and married couples to not give up on working on the happiness of their relationship, Chen published a recent letter from her husband of over 20 years on her blog

"No one is born to be a natural wife or husband. Failures do not mean you cannot try again. Take classes, read books, attend workshops about how to be a better husband or wife or dad or mom, work hard on it and work even harder even if you feel you did enough for your family." said Chen.

"On our deathbeds, we would never regret not having worked that extra day in the office. But we will indeed regret not having worked on more understanding with our loved ones when we could." Chen added.

To bring her message about living life with no regrets to more people, Chen gets on over 200 international media interviews and publications and also actively held training workshops to teach singles and couples how to improve the quality of love in their life.

Her next workshop specially to assist working professionals 'with no time,' especially those who has a desire to learn how to improve their love life or family life but could never find the chance to learn it, will be held on July 20th in Los Angeles.

Chen said, "Attendees have flown from all around the US and even overseas to attend. This workshop is important for those who have decided to put relationships as a priority and enjoy it while achieving more in their careers."

"After all, when we have reached the height of our career, who do we have in our life to share it with? Why not work on this invisible wealth - love of the people who are truly close to you - right now?" smiled Chen.

Chen's love workshops information can be found on

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